A Mermaid’s Tale (What if I loved my body like a three year old?)

Okay, everybody stay calm and do not panic. Spring is here and that means we should be on alert. Swimsuit season will soon be upon us! Of course, swimsuit season is year round if you are a three year old. My precious three year adores her swimsuit. In fact I have been known to hide it, so that she does not bug me all day long to wear it. And when she does wear it, wow; she knows it is something special. She loves everything about her swimsuit: the colors, texture, and the little tutu on the bottom. She feels on top of the world in a swimsuit. What if I loved myself in a swimsuit like my daughter loves herself?

Oh yes, I know why she loves herself in a swimsuit. As she wears her swimsuit she knows that soon she will feel water moving across her legs transforming them into a mermaid’s tail. Her suit is anticipated joy; her suit will take her to fun as the sun shines its beautiful light on her. She does not “suck in” her tummy; she breathes in life and grabs a Popsicle. She does not stand with her arms folded across her frame; she is recklessly free, in a swimsuit.

If I think back hard enough, I can remember that my swimsuit, like hers, once made me into a beautiful sea creature. But now, now I hate wearing a swimsuit. Now don’t get me wrong, you will find me wearing one. I just don’t like it. I could list numerous reasons why I feel this way: My body bears the evidence of birthing three children, I’m not as young as I used to be, blah, blah, blah, and on and on. I do see these facts as legitimate reasons, but before all these things, I learned to hate a bathing suit. Now before you start with the “It’s what is on the inside that matters.” speech, I want you to know that I believe that saying is absolutely true. And truthfully, I love my inside. I like who I am, and I find myself to be beautiful. But when my outsides are bound together in unforgiving spandex in the bright light of day, I don’t like it.

When did it change for me? When did I lose sight of the water and the anticipation of a Popsicle? Where did my mermaid tail go? I lost it. Or maybe I gave it away.

How long? How long will my beautiful daughter adore her bathing suit? Sweet and precious child, do not ever change. Always see yourself as I see you. And I promise I will look at my changed and more mature body the way you see me: Mommy, provider of snacks and Popsicles; giver of hugs and kisses; and a beautiful fellow mermaid.

This summer I will put on my swimsuit and peel off my cover up. And if I look hard enough, I will see it; faded but not lost. Though I struggle with it, I have refused to give it up. My mermaid tail is still here. Beloved child, let’s jump in the pool and make another summer memory. And to all my sister mermaids, let’s live, love, and splash like only the most beautiful mermaids can.

Amy Dubois’ an educator turned stay-at-home mom and entrepreneur. She’s the mother of three children, who bring her the greatest joy and challenges. Using her background in education and mothering, she’s developed a system to help parents discipline with consistency, clear consequences, dignity, and love. For more information visit www.MsBeehaveDesigns.com

Preschool: What You Get for the Money

Am I prepared for the financial burden? Will my child be accepted into the program? I just hope I have the registration packet in on time. Even if I did register correctly, if I don’t win the lottery, then my child won’t have a chance of going. Yes, I’m worried about college…but right now, I’m freaking out about preschool.

It’s that time of year again, preschool registration. For those of you whose child is going to preschool in the fall, the time to register is now. So, how do you choose the best preschool?

I love watching “What you get for the Money” on the Fine Living channel. It’s a show that gives one price line, say $450,000, and shows what kind of home you could have in different parts of the country. Some homes have ample space and beautiful views. Other homes may be a one bedroom loft in the heart of a major city. If I could only find, “What you get for the Money: Preschool edition.”

So what do you get for the money? The answer: Socialization, Exploration, and Preparation.

Socialization
For 2’s, 3’s, and 4’s socialization is a huge part of preschool. Now before you roll eyes and say, “For the amount of money I’m paying for school, my child had better come home with more than knowing how to sit criss-cross-applesauce on a carpet square!” But you see the child going into a kindergarten setting already knowing basic group social rules is at an advantage. Children in preschool learn how to interact with teacher and peers by practicing the following skills:
* Conflict resolution: Sharing and waiting your turn
* Group movement: Waiting in line, sitting in a group to share information, transitioning to new activities
* Speaking manners: shouting out, inside voice, etc
* Body manners: keeping hands and feet to themselves

You may have an incredibly intelligent and talented child; however, if they do not have appropriate social skills, this will be an area in which they will not feel successful. Sometimes these skills can seem trivial to us as adults. They seem so basic and easy to learn. For a young child these skills must be practiced. Preschool is a great place to learn these skills in a patient environment.

Exploration
Yep, pretty much no matter how much money you spend, your child will explore their environment to learn the world around them. This is why an inviting, well defined room is important. Look for well planned centers of learning. Common ones you will see will be areas exploring shapes, colors, books, letters, numbers, building, sorting, and pretend play. You should see a gathering area where days and months of the year are discussed, books are read, and ideas and information are shared. Your child will be encouraged to play with everything, but if your child does not want to do the activity, they will not or should not be made to do the activity. This is especially true for the 2’s and 3’s age range. The 4’s will be directed to spend time in all areas, but it is low pressure learning environment.

Kindergarten preparation
For the four year old child, this is the reason you are sending them to preschool. Socialization is still important and you will still see an environment that is exploratory through centers. But you should also see a class that is being prepared for kindergarten. This is where curriculum comes in.

What do I mean by curriculum? The preschool should have a defined plan of what skills will be taught to your child. If the school cannot tell you their educational objectives for your child, be concerned. I like to know what will be covered in the Kindergarten class, so that as I’m hearing and seeing what is being taught in the preschool, I will have a good feel for whether or not it will lay a good foundation for Kindergarten. Find this information using a search engine on the internet (Example search: Kindergarten standards for NC).

Getting started
Decide how much money is appropriate for your family to put into exploratory based learning. Your child does need a good foundation for their education, but overstretching your family’s finances creates tension at home; ultimately not benefiting your child’s at home environment. Another consideration, how many days a week will your child attend? For the 2 and 3’s, whatever you and your child are comfortable with is appropriate. For the 4’s, they do better with four to five days a week. Why? Repetition and routine are the best learning environments for your child. You may be able to afford “the best” preschool but only at the two day a week level. Your four year old will retain more information from a less expensive 4 to 5 day program.

Get a list of preschools in your area and ask people where they send their children.

Out of the schools receiving a positive review, call the preschool and set up an appointment for a tour. Make sure you get to see the school in action. (Use the chart below as your guide.)

Ask what the school’s educational goals are for their students. If you are checking the preschool out for your two or three year old, be sure to observe the four year olds as well if you desire to keep your child in their school program in subsequent years.

Trust your gut. You will know by the way you feel walking through the school whether or not your child could feel accepted and excited about learning.

When selecting a preschool, here are the areas to look at:
* Clean and safe facility
* Low teacher/student ratio
* Low teacher turnover
* Security (Pick up procedure. How is the facility secured?)
* Curriculum (What skills and information are covered?)
* Licensed by the state
* Staff background checks
* Staff’s credentials (2 yrs of college, background in education, how do they select their teachers or train their teachers?)
* Classroom is well defined (Can tell how the room functions?)
* Infection control and prevention (Sick child policy, hand washing/sanitizing routine)
* Atmosphere (Are teachers engaging with students or just watching? Do students and staff seem happy? Is there a feeling of chaos and tension?)

A clean, well planned environment with a patient and enthusiastic teachers is what you should get for the money. Just don’t break the bank trying to get it. I’ve seen greatness at different price levels. More money can improve aesthetics of the facility and centers, as well as the credential requirements of the staff. But the basics should be covered at all preschools no matter what the price.

I do have a great chart that lets you evaluate three schools that you are looking at based on the above criteria; however I cannot seem to get the chart to appear in the blog. You can see the chart with this article at: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/preschool-what-you-get-for-the-money-164950/

Amy Dubois’ an educator turned stay-at-home mom and entrepreneur. She’s the mother of three children, who bring her the greatest joy and challenges.
Using her background in education and mothering, she’s developed a system to help parents discipline with consistency, clear consequences, dignity, and love. For more information visit www.MsBeehaveDesigns.com

Think Re-Gifting for Mother's Day

Re-gifting on Mother’s Day? You would never! Oh, but you may have unintentionally been re-gifting for years. Being a mother, whether good or bad, is the ultimate gift that keeps on giving.

Merriam Webster dictionary defines a gift to be “something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation.” *

Mothers, whether they choose to see it or not, gift their children daily. Mom’s gifts can be numerous as well as varied. Gifts, as defined above, can be positive or negative. We ALL have been given our mother’s gifts, and we have carried these gifts into adulthood where we now must take an assessment and see: what have we been gifted with and what are we re-gifting?

A mother’s gift of love
When mothering is good and nurturing, it is a great gift to have in one’s life. Knowing that you will always have someone who loves you and thinks of you as precious and special even when the world seems against you, is like having that little something extra in you that keeps you going and fighting, even when you feel defeated. Mom’s arms can be a place of comfort to collapse in, to find peace, acceptance, and tenderness. The heart of a mother can give these gifts; do you choose to re-gift them?

Gifts of indifference, coldness, hurtfulness, and bitterness
Not everyone has had the mother who has been loving or encouraging. Some have had a mother who is indifferent, cold, hurtful, and/or bitter. These were her gifts to pass on to those who surrounded her. These gifts are like having a little something in you that leaves a questioning, a frustration, and a disturbance. They do not bare peace or acceptance. As unsettling as the idea is, the heart of a mother can give these gifts; do you choose to re-gift them?

Gift of encouragement
A mother can help guide a strong willed child into a person of conviction, leadership and strength. A child that thinks wildly can be loved for their imagination and shown how to express their creativity. A child that feels deeply can be shown how their compassion and giving can change the world. We come into this world with our own personality, but a mother can help us open our eyes to the talents and passions we posses. The heart of a mother can give these gifts; do you re-gift them?

Numerous or few, positive or negative, these qualities are all gifts. All were voluntarily given and passed down without compensation. So I will ask again, what are you re-gifting? What mark will you leave on this world and those that surround you?
If in your family, you did not receive the gift of love and encouragement, you can find yourself in the unique place of being able to give something very special. You can be the vessel which brings love and encouragement into a place it had not been before. Being the original giver of these gifts can be difficult, but is definitely worth the effort. And who knows, with your efforts, someone just might re-gift your gift.

To all the women out there that give so freely in love and encouragement, Happy Mother’s Day!


Amy Dubois’ an educator turned stay-at-home mom and entrepreneur. She’s the mother of three children, who bring her the greatest joy and challenges. Using her background in education and mothering, she’s developed a system to help parents discipline with consistency, clear consequences, dignity, and love. For more information visit www.MsBeehaveDesigns.com

*Source citation: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gift