Saturday, September 20, 2008

Taking Your Cup

The day was rainy and had turned chilly. Fall was making its first appearance in our town in North Carolina. Walking home from the bus stop with my son, we both commented how we were cold and inappropriately dressed for the type of day this day had become. As we rushed back into our home, I said there was only one thing to do at the first chilly day of fall. Make some hot cocoa; a special treat to mark a changing season and to warm us up fast.


Now my middle daughter and my son had both had hot chocolate before. They knew it was a special event where the scent of sweet chocolate would permeate the air and tiny marshmallows would float to the top of their warm delicious drink. They danced in the kitchen as they waited for the hot chocolate to make its way to the table.



My youngest, however, did not. Being that she had just turned two, she had never had hot chocolate before. She liked cold chocolate milk and she had experienced marshmallows; but, she never had seen the drink warm and the marshmallows in it. She refused to drink it. She would not touch it and even complained about it in the way only a two year old could. Her two older siblings could not understand why she would not approach it. It was so special, such a treat, something that would not be offered very frequently. Why would she pass it up?



As I made my youngest daughter a sippy cup of water, I thought about the situation. Here was a drink that was similar to chocolate milk, marshmallows that she loved, and an opportunity to sit and drink like the big kids; but she refused and complained. It struck me how much she was like me. How many times did I have an opportunity for a new experience, but I retracted and complained because I did not recognize its goodness, its specialness.



Many times in life we are handed a new task, place to live, or even a hardship. We look at it negatively because we are afraid of the new-ness and unfamiliarity of it; we desperately want what we know, understand, and are comfortable with. Once one gets over the initial shock of the heat of the cocoa which we have only know as a cold drink, we can appreciate its differences and see the positives of our new cup. We will even find that though we could not understand it at first, our good old marshmallows are still there. Slightly different in texture, but still the marshmallows we have always loved. Though the cup and drink are different, the familiar is not completely gone. We just have to drink a little to find that out. We have got to take a risk and just try.



Needless to say, my two year old did not have her first cup of cocoa that day. Her big brother gladly drank her cup down. Life is like that too. If we do not go for the opportunities before us, someone else will take on the cup or the opportunity will just be tossed away.



Luckily for my sweet baby girl, fall has just begun and winter is on the way. She will have a few more opportunities to drink some hot cocoa. Luckily for me, I too will have more cups laid before me. I really must remember that a new cup in life really could be a blessing; a sweet, warm, and delicious blessing. I will stop complaining and I will be boldly wrapping my fingers around the handle of my cup discovering what drink lays before me. I'm sure that the marshmallows I have always loved will still be there.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Words I Didn't Say Today

I have three children. I have to tell you, my youngest, she is a runner. Now that her older brother is back in school and her big sister is in preschool two days a week, I am starting to teach my youngest (who just turned two) how to walk beside the basket when we shop. I make a device called "My Extra Hand" walking guides. It's a little strap that attaches to the shopping basket (it attaches to just about anything), and it teaches your child to hold the strap while you push the cart. Today was our first day with it.

I have taught my older children this technique so I know what to expect. When she runs off and refuses to hold the line and walk with me, she has to go in the basket. As you can guess, a fit will ensues. This method is a process. After some time she will learn her boundaries. But at first, you will have a battle of wills. She will cry when she is not allowed to run anywhere she chooses.

So I am out at large grocery store, starting this method with her for the first time. I know that we will have periods of success and times when she will cry about being put back in the basket because she will not obey. I know it and expect it. It's a part of the process. I went to the store when it was not crowded, and it mostly had stockers in the aisles. My daughter did in fact get angry about being placed in the basket. I was not going along with the program she had in mind, and she was absolutely going to let me know what she thought about it.

When I passed a stocker in the snack aisle she stated loudly to another stocker, "Geez, if I had to listen to that, I would SHOOT myself." I was mad. And you do why? Because here is what would happen to you if you actually had to listen to THAT daughter of mine all day...

Your ears would be filled with more laughter than crying.
Your eyes would see a baby learning her world and dancing her way through the experience.
Your arms would be filled with hugs.
Your lips would have the sweetest kisses.
Your voice would sing off key and still bring smiles.
Your feet would run and dance.
And your heart would be filled with thankfulness that you have been blessed to know someone like her.

And so random stocker, if I didn't know what THAT felt like, then maybe I would just want to shoot MYSELF.

So that's how I felt. Do you know what I did? You guessed it. NOTHING. I walked away in silence. A little mad; but now, a little sad. Another bitter person in this world who probably does not know what THAT is all about.

It is hard to teach life lessons in public. Can we give children time to learn? Can we hold our tongues when we do not have something nice to say?

And to you, rude random stocker, I only have this to say. I WILL BE BACK! See you on the snack aisle. I'll be the one with the child you will be praising for being able to stay close to my basket without running off............ Well, eventually I will be.